


i wear my heart on my sleeve (i carry your heart with me)

by onlinemuse



Series: Midnight Strikes [2]
Category: Stargirl (TV 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Autistic Beth Chapel, Big Brother Rick Tyler, Childhood Friends, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Nightmares, Wendi Harris and Rex Tyler Live
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:49:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27171310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlinemuse/pseuds/onlinemuse
Summary: “…Beth?”This Rick was not her Rick, he never would be if things had truly come to change for good. He was barely a shadow of the hurting, stubborn man who became a hero side by side with her, who had cried for her as he cradled her in his arms one final time. But the way his voice went low and soft, nearly purring with contentment as she felt it reverberating through him…Maybe there was a part of him that wasn’t completely gone.
Relationships: Beth Chapel & Bridget Chapel, Beth Chapel/Rick Tyler
Series: Midnight Strikes [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1983016
Kudos: 6





	i wear my heart on my sleeve (i carry your heart with me)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [freckledpianoman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/freckledpianoman/gifts).



> Nightmares seem to be a recurring thing in Hournite fic so I decided to jump onto the bandwagon and put Rick through the ringer. I might do something like this for Beth too.
> 
> And I've seen many different interpretations of Beth's relationship with her parents so this is my take on them. I wanted to avoid having the only Black parents on the show be neglectful, but I do see Bridget as a neurotypical parent who wasn't prepared to raise an autistic daughter.

Rex used to joke that Rick had inherited his mother’s sixth sense.

The same inexplicable instinct that flared up whenever something disastrous was about to strike, the same sense of dread and foreboding that Wendi felt just before Psycho Pirate crashed her gallery opening the night she met Rex.

The same feeling that struck mother and son the night Grundy attacked their family years later.

_(Privately the Tylers knew that they wouldn’t have survived on that alone. If it hadn’t been for Beth’s bravery and brilliance in the face of danger, using the ISA’s need to uphold their public face against them by luring Grundy out, cycling all ten miles right into the heart of town, in front of dozens of witnesses…_

_They shuddered to think about what could’ve happened. Not just to them, but to Beth if Rick hadn’t gotten his hands on the hourglass and ran after her in time.)_

Fourteen-year-old Rick would just roll his eyes whenever his dad would bring up his sixth sense, turning back to the stove with his face scrunching in a way that never failed to make Bex giggle into her breakfast.

But that was before his sister and parents came bursting in after being wakened by the sudden sound of terrified _screaming_ coming from his room in the dead of night, chilling them down to their bones.

They found him sitting up in bed, his face buried in his hands unable to escape whatever nightmare he had been entrenched in. When Bex finally managed to coax her big brother into looking up at them, he was a total wreck. His face was bright red and splotchy from crying and his hair was a rat’s nest from how he had tossed and turned in his sleep.

But what stood out the most was the look in his eyes. Deep, hollow.

_Haunted_.

He clung to an alarmed Wendi the second she managed to climb onto the bed, mindful of the wide curve of her pregnant belly, still six months along. Rex could barely make out what his son was choking out from where he had buried his face in his mother’s shoulder, unable to do anything but cry his heart out.

But one thing was clear.

The person he was calling out for Beth.

* * *

Beth was not built for regret.

She had lived her first life with resolve and conviction, and she was prepared to do it all over again, to change things for the better and live a happy life this time.

But it didn’t mean there weren’t things that she missed. Or rather, _people_ she missed.

Court and Yolanda, Artemis and Jennifer-Lynn and Maxine. Rowdy girl’s night outs, drunk and silly and breathless from another round of karaoke. Crowding onto the couch with the girls for horror movie marathons and cartoons.

Monthly dinners with the Whitmore-Dugans that often ended in utter chaos and laughter. Barb laughing as Pat shook his head, amused and exasperated, but every inch a doting grandpa with Court and Yolanda’s youngest Mimi and Mike’s daughter Trish perched in his lap.

Little Pieter with his adorable accent and the baby owl he had named after Chuck, who thought of Beth’s young mentee as a grandson of sorts.

And Rick. His quiet, steady presence at her side and late nights she spent stargazing out on the porch with him, her chin on his shoulder as he pointed out new constellations to her.

Beth had loved all of them deeply and there were nights where it hurt to let them go. Nights where she thought too much and agonized over if this was the day her actions would disturb the ripples of time and make the future she knew cease to exist.

But she had happiness in her bones and she never thought that she would have so much of it in this new life. She never thought she and Rick would grow up together and her heart was full because she wasn’t alone this time.

_They weren’t alone this time._

And nothing reminded her of that more when her phone started buzzing in the middle of the night. Late night phone calls seemed to be a constant across lifetimes. Her eyes were still closed as she fumbled with the bumpy phone case, clumsily unlocking it as she answered, her voice thick with sleep.

It couldn’t have been earlier than two in the morning, who on earth—

She could only hear harsh, ragged breathing on the other line, but years of wordless communication in another lifetime was enough for her. She _knew_ who that voice belonged to.

“ _Rick?_ ”

Her eyes flew open, nearly shooting off the bed with how urgent her voice turned. She winced after the sudden movement, her head still a little tender from her after school hair appointment.

“What’s going on, are you okay? Are Bex and your parents alright?”

Her alarm only grew when she heard a half-strangled sob on the other line.

“ _Dammit_ —I’m sorry, Beth. I should’ve known you’d be sleeping. Forget it, I—”

He cut himself off. She didn’t need to see him to know that he was closing in on himself.

“Rick, _please_ ,” she pleaded. “Talk to me.”

In another life, Yolanda liked to say that Rick was like a turtle. He retreated back into his shell to protect himself when there was something he thought he didn’t have the strength to face. But in private, in the company of the people he loved, Beth knew that Rick was someone who wore his heart on his sleeve.

“It’s stupid,” he finally mumbled. “It was just a stupid dream, but why did it feel so real?”

She held her breath as she waited for him to continue. Other than the times he relived the night of Grundy’s attack, nightmares were rare for him. Court used to joke that _he_ was the one that nightmares ran away from, with a face like steel and a volcanic temper just waiting to be unleashed to protect his soft heart.

What could’ve shaken him up like this?

“ _You were dying._ ”

Those three little words were enough for Beth to _freeze_ as the air was knocked out of her lungs.

“You were dying Beth, and I couldn’t do anything. I just—” he let out a sharp sigh, trying to swallow back the tears that were pricking his eyes.

“I needed to hear your voice. _I needed to know that it wasn’t real_.”

But all Beth could hear was the roaring in her ears, reeling from what he had revealed to her. Because what happened in the other timeline wouldn’t come to pass, she made sure of it. So why—

_Why was Rick suddenly dreaming about the night she died?_

* * *

Despite her early riser tendencies, Beth was almost mechanical as she prepared breakfast the next morning, her thoughts too full of her talk with Rick to realize what she was doing. If he’d really seen what he did, what did it mean?

That day played in her head like one of grandma Beatie’s old blues records. Slow, broken, mournful, the echoing notes slipping away like she had.

It had been almost ten years, but some details never truly faded. The scent of iron in the air, her skin cold and clammy to the touch. The anguished screams from Court and Yolanda and the strong arms that held her.

The tears on her face.

_She knew that they weren’t hers._

Was there still a death sentence over her head? Things had changed too much to know for sure, she should talk it over with Chuck next time and—

“Beth? Honey?”

“Huh?”

Beth blinked owlishly when she suddenly saw her mother in front of her. When had she come in, she was usually on her way to hospital around this time?

“Oh mom, I didn’t hear you come in. I was just making breakfast, do you want any? I can pack up some pancakes for you before you have to leave, no problem.”

“For me or for the whole surgical floor?”

Bridget raised an eyebrow, her lips pursed in amusement at the tall stacks of pancakes covering half the kitchen counter.

“You’re spacing out during breakfast.” She tapped the counter, the click of her nails against the granite snapping Beth out of her trance like a Pavlovian response. “What are you stuck over?”

_(She was the first to admit that she hadn’t been prepared to raise a daughter like Beth._

_From birth Beth had been too loud, too bright. Her daughter had the eyes of an old soul and even from a young age, she was too grown up and knowing. Bridget had been left not knowing what to do and it was exhausting trying to keep up with her._

_Bridget never said it out loud, but a part of her still mourned for Beth’s brother, for not having the chance to watch him grow up. And when Beth had been diagnosed…_

_But Bridget still knew her daughter and right now there was something weighing on Beth’s mind.)_

She waited as the whole story came out, how Rick had called Beth in the aftermath of a nightmare, watching as her daughter vibrated out of her skin the entire time.

“Dr Tyler already said that he was pulling Rick out for a mental health day,” Beth let out a sigh, rocking back and forth absently like she was waiting outside the principal’s office.

“But I’m still worried and there’s just _no way_ I’ll be able to concentrate on any of my classes.”

“Beth, you spend the whole day worrying.” There was no impatience in Bridget’s voice as she checked her phone, her mind made up.

“Okay, it’s only seven right now. There’s still time for me to call up your school and get you a half day. That way you can make it to the Tylers’ before lunch.”

Her face almost twitched with laughter as Beth goggled at her, her eyes as round as her glasses.

“Look, you’re a responsible young lady. You’re already a week ahead of your schoolwork and I know you’re planning on talking with your teachers and having your friends catch you up—”

Bridget barely had time to cover her ears as Beth tackled her with a squeal, her hands hovering awkwardly over her back before coming up to absently smooth her hair.

She knew she didn’t make the best choices as a mother, but she could do this much at least. Seeing the way Beth’s eyes practically glow in giddiness and relief as she kissed Bridget’s cheek, running upstairs and calling out that she was going to tell the Tylers the good news.

It made her think that instead of growing up…

_Maybe her daughter was growing into who she was all along._

* * *

Rick was exhausted, bruises starting to form under his eyes from the lack of sleep. He didn’t want to close his eyes only to relive his nightmare again, the weak gasp in her voice and her cold hand over his heart, her eyes unblinking as the light faded from them.

He didn’t want to believe that the woman he saw in his dream was Beth. Her hair had been done in box braids, her peaceful face a little fuller and faint laugh lines sweeping the corners of her eyes. Her skin was luminous under the streetlights, her lips painted in a deep matte red that seemed to breathe life where there was none.

The woman was foreign and familiar and so _small_ in his arms, but her eyes…

His heart caught in his throat.

They were still as warm as liquid sunshine, but they were mature from a knowledge that Rick couldn’t even begin to fathom. He could look into their depths and see all the secrets of the universe and that was when he realized. They were the one thing that hadn’t changed since the day a tiny girl carrying a lunch box half her size had looked at him in the middle of happily chattering with his dad about chemistry and _smiled_ , bright and knowing and miraculous.

_There was no doubt that they were Beth’s eyes._

His head snapped up second he heard his bedroom door open and he froze upon seeing who was there.

There hovering in the doorway, in an adorable yellow polka dot sweater and indigo jeans and green owl flats, her glasses slipping down her nose and dense curls in box braids down her back instead of framing her face in a fluffy little halo as usual was Beth.

Disbelief coloured his features as sunlight streamed into his room, letting him see the mint polish on her nails as she fiddled with the cuffs of her sleeves, how the butterfly ornament holding her braids back highlighted her eyes brimming with panic and worry, the deep pomegranate colour starting to wear off as she bit her lip.

_(He knew Artemis and Yolanda had been helping Beth experiment with makeup for the past few weeks, but it didn’t stop him from running headfirst into a locker door the first time he saw her wearing lipstick. The girls wouldn’t stop laughing at him for days after that.)_

She looked warm, vivid.

_Alive_.

Was _… was she real?_

He didn’t realize he’d been crying again until she wrapped him up in the biggest bear hug she could muster, murmuring soothing things to him as she brushed his wet cheeks.

“Shh, it’s okay, _it’s okay_ , Rick, it was just a dream. _I’m here_.”

He felt warm little hands cradle his face, soft lips brushing against his forehead before he finally, _finally_ pulled her into his arms. The warm weight of her, the scent of strawberries and the cocoa-shea butter mix Beth preferred started to calm his live wire mind, started to convince him that he wasn’t dreaming this time.

“You know,” he let out a wry chuckle, stroking her braids like it was second nature to him. “I never cried this much before I met you.”

There was a soft sound in the back of her throat as she leaned her forehead against his, a little teary eyed herself. When they were little, he’d tease her for crying at the drop of a hat, but he was always the first person to comfort her, to wipe away her tears after a hard day at school.

It seemed like Rick Tyler hated seeing Beth Chapel cry in any lifetime.

“You make it sound like it's a bad thing, _Dick_.”

He let out a huff of laughter, the little furrow in his brow smoothing out as he remembered how that particular game started. Beth had never laughed as hard as she did the moment that Bex had yelled that particular name when Rick came to her kindergarten class.

_(“But daddy, it’s short for Richard Dean!”_

_“It’s never been short for that, pumpkin, and I don’t want my four-year-old yelling Dick across the schoolyard when her brother is picking her up.”_ _)_

“It’s not, _Elizabeth_. But last night—”

He trailed off as he absently traced over the lines of the gold heartbeat necklace he had given her for her thirteenth birthday. Rick never realized how delicate and fragile it really was, unsure if he meant the necklace or Beth’s steady heartbeat under his fingertips.

“Last night was _horrifying_.”

His voice went hoarse as his thumb brushed over the curve of her cheek, staring deeper into her as if she would disappear if he looked away for even a second.

“I tried everything to get you to stay awake, but I couldn't stop you.”

It was like watching the last of the sand slipping through his dad’s hourglass. But he couldn’t set things back in the end. He couldn’t stop her from leaving them behind, from leaving _him_ behind with nothing but a heart wrenching, empty space where she used to be.

He wished that dad was only joking about his sixth sense. He had never wanted so badly for Rex Tyler to be wrong, so badly that it made him want to hold Beth until the pain in his heart went away.

_He wished…_

But Beth, there in his bedroom, always seemed to know what he was thinking in that weird way of hers.

The way she had come into his life was almost miraculous, like there was some sort of fantastic secret to her like in the magical girl shows that Bex had been obsessed with lately. He thought of all the coincidences, Beth knowing exactly how to help his parents escape Grundy, how she had knocked freaking _Brainwave_ flat on his ass with her thoughts alone, how those unwavering eyes had stayed the same all these years.

It might have taken nearly ten years to realize it, but there was _something_ going on.

“I’m okay, Rick,” she said softly.

She pressed her lips against his cheek before resting her cheek against the spot where she kissed him. She didn’t know if the sudden warmth she felt was her face heating up or him blushing.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” she chanted it like a mantra, letting out a soft sigh of laughter, “I hate to disappoint you, but you’re pretty much stuck with me. Think you can handle me?”

He buried his face in the curve between her neck and shoulder, but she could feel him shaking with laughter, could hear him whispering against her skin.

_(Beth didn’t know that Rick was thinking that he could wait. He would wait for her to tell him everything someday or nothing at all, for the rest of his life if he had to. He just wanted her to stay with them, with him._

_That was all he ever wanted from her.)_

“…Beth?”

This Rick was not her Rick, he never would be if things had truly come to change for good. He was barely a shadow of the hurting, stubborn man who became a hero side by side with her, who had cried for her as he cradled her in his arms one final time. But the way his voice went low and soft, nearly purring with contentment as she felt it reverberating through him…

Maybe there was a part of him that wasn’t completely gone.

“Can we stay like this for a while?”

“Sure, Rick.”

Beth wasn’t ready to let go of him either, her heart full with how she could feel it beating in time with his.

“As long as you want.”

**Author's Note:**

> Even though Beth succeeds in changing things, something still has to give and Rick's nightmare can be seen as a consequence of that. And Rick is starting to pick up that there's more to Beth than meets the eye.


End file.
